mon favorite!

so, i don't have a lot of favorites. or rather, i have too many favorites to name. i have no idea how everyone else seems to be able to choose one thing that they like best. favorite movie, band, music, color, book. i always have to qualify the answer. my favorite comedy is... my favorite classical piece is... my favorite color to decorate with is... i can't choose just one thing! i like too many! it's like the whole world is telling me that i have to define myself by choosing one single item. and what if i can't be defined by one thing? what if i'm a person who needs to like a lot of things to be who i want to be? what if i don't want to choose a favorite? i don't see that as a bad thing. i am allowed to like what i want, even if you don't like it.

so my favorite? my favorite depends on the day. today, my favorites seem to be dave matthews, white wine, and cleaning. tomorrow, probably something completely different. it's all part of the fun.

et la verite...

the truth is, i hate making decisions.

i mean, i really, really despise decision making.

there are some things that i'm ok with. when to wake up, what to eat, what i should do for the day. i'm talking more about the big ones. the future life decisions. the things that will impact my life. the things that i have to decide soon.

i think it's natural to feel a little bit hesitant in making these types of decisions, mainly because they are pretty monumental. however, lately, i have been practically paralyzed by the fact that i have to make a decision.

it's not an easy decision. it's not a simple choice. and i have no idea how to go about making this one.

the truth is, for the first time in my life, i have no idea what to do. there are a lot of things i COULD do, but very few things that i WANT to do. i am having a hard time trying to sort out my thoughts, and the opinions of others. i'm trying to do the best thing for everything, and i have no idea how to even think about myself first anymore.

i guess the truth is this: i wish i could make decisions. i wish i knew what to do. i wish that things were completely different. but they aren't. and i don't. and i can't.

the truth is that i just don't know.

maybe that's ok, but it definitely doesn't make me feel better.

je suis desolee

so for the past three days, i haven't posted a blog at all. and yes, it's because i've been so exhausted. but it's also for another reason.

the sims have moved in to my house.

i never thought i would get sucked in to a computer game, but i have, and big time. it's not even that cool. you have people that you control, blah blah blah.

but once you get started, it's next to impossible to stop. i played ALL day on sunday. and i do mean ALL day. it was a little ridiculous.

so now there is one more thing to distract me from accomplishing what i set out to do for the day, but i promise, i will be better. or so we all hope.

hope your weekend was fabulous!