i mean, i really, really despise decision making.
there are some things that i'm ok with. when to wake up, what to eat, what i should do for the day. i'm talking more about the big ones. the future life decisions. the things that will impact my life. the things that i have to decide soon.
i think it's natural to feel a little bit hesitant in making these types of decisions, mainly because they are pretty monumental. however, lately, i have been practically paralyzed by the fact that i have to make a decision.
it's not an easy decision. it's not a simple choice. and i have no idea how to go about making this one.
the truth is, for the first time in my life, i have no idea what to do. there are a lot of things i COULD do, but very few things that i WANT to do. i am having a hard time trying to sort out my thoughts, and the opinions of others. i'm trying to do the best thing for everything, and i have no idea how to even think about myself first anymore.
i guess the truth is this: i wish i could make decisions. i wish i knew what to do. i wish that things were completely different. but they aren't. and i don't. and i can't.
the truth is that i just don't know.
maybe that's ok, but it definitely doesn't make me feel better.
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